Free upgrade: Mercury Gran Marquis. Feels like I’m in an unmarked police car. This thing is giant. I think it has the same wheel base as a Ford F250. I will not be driving.

07/04/11
My favorite. Riding in a land barge (mercury grand marquis) on a single lane winding mountain road. Im gonna ralph.

Me, while FirstHubs is navigating mountain curves:: “no speeding.. That’s all I’m saying” (pause) “well. that’s not ALL I’m saying”
Him: “oh I know THAT.”

07/06/11
What’s more stressful than traversing one lane mountain roads in a land barge? Duckin and weavin in downtown Atlanta rush hour in a land barge. Where’s that Georgia hpospitality now?

FYI: do NOT pack a book weight in your carry-on bag. It just confuses TSA.

Later – MUCH Later – I agree with Glinda and Dorothy.

07/07/11
We have once AGAIN been reminded of our home’s nickname: “Casa Aqua”
After we find and stop the leak in the roof, we’re going to need a referral to a good drywall repair guy. A big section of FavoriteSon’s ceiling is going to need replaced.

Currently:
1. Roof vent is patched with the equivalent of a homemade book weight.
2. FavoriteSon’s ceiling is no longer leaking through the hole FirstHubs made by just touching the drywall.

Next:
1. Try to save FavSon’s Original Mattress Factory mattress by cutting a hole in the side and blowing cold air into it for days with a shop vac.
2. Enter the all too well known status of home repair/water damage recovery as we repair the roof and replace the drywall in a 6 foot radius around it.
Later – I may be speaking too soon, but the shop vac/hole in the mattress seems to be working. I seriously hope so. It’s NOT a cheap mattress and it’s only a few months old.
Now FirstHusband is running a fever. Lord, PLEASE protect the rest of the family from germs.
After bringing him the thermometer, some juice, a cool wet washcloth for his forehead and a blanket, FirstHusband says: “Honey, will you hop on one foot while you rub my feet?”
At least he knows he’s acting like a stereotypical sick husband.
Not that he’s going to stop…

07/08/11
We abandoned our plan to watch the shuttle from the boat. Everyone (except me) is still asleep (at 10:15 am)! FirstHub’s fever was nearly 102 last night when he went to bed. The fact that everyone is still crashed speaks volumes about our last two days, so it’s a good thing we didn’t go. Would have had to leave the house at 5am. Besides, a contractor is supposed to come & look at the roof & FavSon’s ceiling today.

ahhhh. nothing quite says “home” like the white noise of water extraction.

07/11/11
Getting ready to pick up PinkGirl from rehearsal. Supposedly, parts for Annie Jr. were assigned today. If she’s orphan #18, there will be serious sadness here tonight. Every time this subject comes up, FavoriteSon starts saying the same thing in a dejected voice: “I am NOT the sun, I am NOT the sun, I am NOT the sun.” (at the 3 minute mark – it’s a series they used to watch when they were little)

PinkGirl got the part of Grace, Daddy Warbucks assistant! Now it’s all Annie, all the time – for the next three weeks. FavoriteSon is particularly happy about that.

So PinkGirl has been home from Annie Jr. rehearsal for what? Six hours? And she almost has her songs memorized. She’s obsessed. I have no idea where she gets it…

07/12/11
One of the directors of Annie Jr. told the “non-orphans” cast members that they could sing the orphan songs from backstage if they wanted to.
You don’t have to tell PinkGirl twice! “IT’S A HARD KNOCK LIFE, FOR US, IT’S A HARD KNOCK LIFE, FOR US!”

07/13/11
I DON’T know what’s harder for PinkGirl. Feeling disappointed in herself or feeling like she disappointed someone else.
I DO know exactly where she gets it & that there’s no convincing her that neither feeling is valid.
Question is, after the hiccupy, can’t catch her breath tears, will these feelings make her stronger? or will she lose her confidence & back away from the next challenge? I’m working on “stronger.”

I gave her the entire afternoon and evening to feel sad, but this morning it was all about: “okay, so what are you going to DO about it?” When she got out of the car this morning she was determined to challenge herself and work to achieve her goals – which are to learn, increase her skills and be prepared and brave enough to GO for it when she gets an opportunity. I’m on my way to pick her up now, so we’ll see which way she went with it today.

Later: She went with “get stronger!” I’m hoping that’s an indication of the future.

07/14/11
FavoriteSon just did something very, very funny and IMMEDIATELY pointed at me and said, “NO facebook!”
what?

PinkGirl and I have been singing this for the last 45 minutes.
FavoriteSon: “Can you PLEASE sing a different song?”
no, I’m sorry, that’s not possible.

07/17/11
PinkGirl and I are watching Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone with my dad (her Pappy). His first time. I think he likes it.

07/19/11
FirstHusband made an EXCELLENT Mexican meal tonight for dinner. Since he cooked, the rest of the family cleaned up. I opened the fridge to put away the leftovers and said: “that is so sad.”
FirstHusband: “what?”
I held up the huge bowl of guacamole he made, forgotten and untouched in the refrigerator.

07/18/11
Two guys in a black SUV got my son to roll his window down at a light today. Told him that their “company had made a mistake & ordered some extra speakers,” which they had in the back of their car. If he would just pull over they would GIVE the speakers to him for free. He didn’t fall for it. His momma didn’t raise no dummy. THANK YOU GOD for protecting my son today! His first thought was “yeah, right.” but he didn’t say that and provoke them, he just said he was in a hurry. He also had his doors locked – that’s one of my habits rubbed off.

07/21/11
PinkGirl: “What’s for dessert?”
FirstHusband: “Whatever you fix for yourself.”
Me: “Whatever you do, don’t have any cherries or nectarines.”
PinkGirl, exasperated: “It’s not called ‘FRUITsert’ it’s called ‘DUHsert’”

07/22/11
We all wanted to go to Daytona Beach Ocean Walk for vacation, but after doing the math, we decided to spend points instead of dollars. Hotel & airline points that is. Family vacation to Washington DC is booked! Besides the Smithsonian, any “must-see” suggestions? FavoriteSon wants to know if there are any “must-EAT” suggestions.

Somebody doesn’t like this storm. Apparently, the thought is “what you can’t see can’t hurt you.”

After the storm, she combed the house for every. single. pillow. and built a “pillow fort” in the family room. It was a hotel, with suites, a library (of course) and a “restricted employee room.” She and Heffalump the hampster stayed in there for the rest of the night. (it looked like a maze to me)

07/23/11
It’s not possible for my family to watch the movie Toy Story without joining in with the dialog. None of us are immune.

Me: “I love you.”

PinkGirl: “I love you more.”

Me, going straight for the win: “I love you to infinity.”

PinkGirl: “Well, I love you to Buzz Lightyear.”

Me: “Huh?”

PinkGirl: “Lightyears are bigger than infinity.”

I’m not gonna let her dad or her brother explain light years or infinity it to her.

Come on parents, you know this one . . .

Answer: a new Bible.

(On the bright side, she’s ready to recite James 1:1-12 for her Bible quiz today.)

FavoriteSon: “I’ll be fine.” (with the “rolling eyes at mom” tone of voice)

Me: You don’t know that. The change from living at home and being in a sheltered environment to living on your own and in an environment without much outside accountability will be a huge change for you. Some kids don’t handle their new freedom very well.

FavoriteSon: “I’ll be fine.” (more “rolling eyes” tone of voice)

Me: “Yeah, well, you haven’t been in a situation where you’ve had a chance to be an idiot yet.”

FavoriteSon: “I’ve had plenty of chances to be an idiot, I promise you.”

Me: “True. But I mean with cars. And girls.”

Without skipping a beat –

FavoriteSon: “I promise I won’t drive a car into a girl’s house. (pause) While she’s home.”

Then the grin. I love the grin.

Mom and Dad together: ehhhhh . . .

Dad: That’s not good.

PinkGirl: No, it’s okay, me and BFFN are best friends so we’re just going to talk about him and pretend we hate him, like we always do.

Mom and Dad share a look and a grin over her oblivious head.

I’m slightly proud.

That would be some new freedom. His dad was fine with it. I wasn’t sure. Here’s the way the conversation went:

Me: “FavoriteSon, if you want more freedom and privileges, you need to demonstrate some personal responsibility, like for you own self-care. For instance, what is one of the most important things you would need to do if you spent the day at the beach without me or your dad?”

FavoriteSon: “uhhhmmmm. Not do anything that would be displeasing to God?”

PinkGirl: “I know! I know! Wear sunscreen?”

Me, to FavoriteSon: “Your sister can go.”

Now, don’t get me wrong, I like his answer too, but seriously – what a suck up. Eight years of Christian school can sure bring out the Eddie Haskell in a kid. I would LOVE it if he spent his day at the beach thinking about how he could please God, but he would still come home crispy. I continue the questioning:

Me: “What would you look for to find out if there’s a rip tide?”

FavoriteSon:“. . . waves?”

Me: “At the lifeguard chair . . . “

FavoriteSon: “a . . . sign?”

Me: “A red flag.“

Me: “What do you do if you’re caught in a rip tide?”

FavoriteSon: ” . . . relax?”

Me: “well, okay. Then what?”

FavoriteSon: “uhhhh”

Me: “Swim parallel to shore till you get out of it.”

FavoriteSon: “I KNEW THAT!”

Me: “umm hmm”

FavoriteSon: “REALLY! I KNEW THAT!”

Me: “You are so going to drown.”

Thankfully, the plans changed and they went to Wet-N-Wild instead. Lots of lifeguards, no rip tides. Just free water wedgies. We had to shell out $45 for a ticket, but it gets him in free for the rest of the year. I have a feeling PinkGirl and I will be buying the same ticket this summer.

Anyone want to hang out at Wet-N-Wild? I like me a l a z y river. Float. Walk backwards for exercise between lifeguards. Rinse, repeat.

I JUST WANTED TO LET YOU KNOW THAT I AM IN AWE OF MRSPEEDY’S (aka FavoriteSon) ATHLETIC TALENT. YOU SHOULD HAVE HEARD THE COMMENTS IN THE STANDS AT THE TRACK MEET. “WHERE DID HE COME FROM?” “IT’S LIKE A LIGHTNING BOLT OUT OF NOWHERE!” “IT’S LIKE HE JUST TURNS ON THE AFTER BURNERS…AND HE’S GONE!”

She’s talking about the 4×100. FavoriteSon was the anchor (last runner) in that event on Monday. By the time he got the baton, his team was in 7th place. He finished 3rd.

Not that I needed an email to tell me he’s FAST! This is his first track meet since straining a hip flexor two weeks ago and he ran the 100 meter dash in 12.99 seconds. The 200 meter dash in 26.55 seconds. Check it out – he’s in the middle in the first photo, wearing the blue shorts, and a grey tshirt with a long sleeved black shirt underneath. And? He FORGOT to change into his track shoes, so he’s wearing his regular, everyday shoes.

Is it my imagination or did he let up at the finish line? He looks horizontal to me. I’ll check the video.

Start!

First Curve . . .

Second Curve . . .

Where is everyone? Oh, I can see their shadows . . .

In the homestretch . . .

26.55 seconds. Without his track shoes. I can’t wait till next week!

FavoriteSon and FirstHusband went on a field trip to Washington DC last week and while the students weren’t allowed to talk to each other on their phones, they were allowed to text each other. Just for the fun of it, when they got back, I got online to check FavoriteSon’s usage.

Voice Minutes Used: 8 (and he didn’t even call his mother)
Text Messages: 539

That was February 14th and the billing cycle ends in March.

So after a little family pow wow, I got on the phone and increased his text message to 1,500 for an extra $10 per month. Back dated to include the 539 messages so he won’t have to pay 10 cents for each one over 200.

Because he’s 13. And communicating with his peers. Which he wasn’t really doing so much last year. Before the contact lenses. and the clear skin. and the cool hair. and the team sports. and he’s a good kid, who gets good grades and does his chores. most of the time. and is sweet to his baby sister. some of the time.

Besides. He’s paying for it.

The rules? We’re making them up as we go along, but so far:

1. This rule was instituted the day he got his phone: No phone in the bedroom at night.
2. We get to look at his text messages. If we ask, he allows us. (he can read mine)
3. He promises he will not text anyone anything their parents will need to call us about.
4. No texting during homework or family meals.
5. He doesn’t forward chain texts & tells his friends to stop sending them.
6. He has to check his own minutes and self-regulate.

He is very motivated to keep these rules. He’s eligible for an upgrade.

What teenager cell phone/texting rules have worked for you?